The aging process brings challenges to us all, but it may also be overwhelming for the family and loved ones of an older adult who is struggling. As a caregiver, taking care of yourself often comes last if even at all. Feeling overwhelmed and not having the support for yourself. The additional responsibility has fallen onto your shoulders and no longer are you only taking care of your own responsibilities, but now you are taking care of someone who you care about. Sometimes we see this new responsibility coming, other times it hits us as a total surprise. A parent, spouse, child or even a sibling for example, now needs you more than ever. Whether it be due to a physical illness, sudden disability, dementia or mental illness, you are now their caregiver. Tending to their physical and/or mental health needs now feels like a full-time job. Whether you have prior training in caregiving or not, it can be very draining and overwhelming. What has happened has happened, and even with prior training, no one is truly prepared. With caregiving comes stress, grief, and frustration. These newfound obstacles can put a lot of pressure on someone, and many times one’s quality of life can feel like it has significantly dropped. You want to be there for your loved one, but the pressure of all of the regular demands of daily life is still on you and additionally there’s the added stress of the caregiving.
Caregivers are at risk for compassion fatigue.
Nobody can be a pillar of strength 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Compassion fatigue refers to the phenomenon of perpetual caregivers, whether familial or professional, becoming physically and emotionally depleted by the process of taking care of others. At its most extreme, being a caregiver can lead to mood swings, depression, exhaustion, irritability and cynicism, as well as feelings of anxiety, emptiness and overwhelm. Another long-term effect of compassion fatigue can be a diminished ability to feel empathy for the people you’re caring for. Some researchers have described it as a “secondary traumatic stress disorder,” which comes from prolonged exposure to the suffering of others. While it’s an understandable defense mechanism, it can leave many caregivers feeling guilty and frustrated. The longer that someone provides care — whether it’s for a partner, parent, sibling or some other loved one — the more likely they are to experience negative effects. Due to busyness and shame, many struggle in silence, which compounds the problem.
Are you struggling while trying to balance all of the demands of being a caregiver?
We know that the load can get very heavy when you need to take care of another person. Luckily there is help available that will lighten that heavy load and help you maintain your own well-being — even when someone you love is ailing. Whether your spouse is struggling with a debilitating medical condition, or you’re helping your parent(s) who may have extra needs due to changes in their memory or a chronic, debilitating medical condition Comforts of Home Counseling has experienced professionals to help you. Comforts of Home Counseling’s therapists can help you navigate the newfound obstacles that arise when you are a loved one’s primary care giver, we understand that everyone needs support, including those supporting others. You’ve got this and we’re here to help!