Worried That Your Marriage or Relationship Could Fail?
- Do you often find yourselves fighting about the same things over and over?
- Is bitterness and unforgiveness causing your relationship to splinter?
- Has an emotional or physical affair taken place and now you’re not sure what to do next?
- Are differing views about finances causing big-time stress in your marriage or relationship?
- Do conflicting opinions about sexual intimacy cause you to distance yourself from your spouse or partner?
- Or, is your relationship decent or even good but you know it could be even better?
How Things May Look for You as a Couple Right Now
Marital and partner troubles can spill into every area of your life making it unbearable. You may not feel loved anymore and now feel uncertain about your future. This often leads to a downward spiral of increasing difficulty.
Because your relationship is hurting, you’re not sleeping well. This increases your stress levels and your diet becomes poor or your exercise routine gets thrown off. Your job performance suffers because you’re always exhausted and worried. Your broken relationship occupies your thoughts instead of work or the care of your children.
On top of this, you’re more vulnerable to risky behaviors because your home life isn’t stable or happy anymore. Things like infidelity, substance abuse, alcohol dependence, impulsive spending or overeating become increasingly tempting. You start entertaining the thought of, “anything to ease the pain.”
Now that your relational stress has rippled out into other areas of life, you’re less equipped to “stop the bleeding” in your relationship. At this point, you may feel occasional or ongoing anxiety and even depression.
You keep telling yourself that if you only try harder, things will get better. But they don’t. You keep trying to fix things on your own, but you can’t.
Is there are solution for you? There sure is, but you may need someone to help you get there.
How to Decide if You Need Couples Counseling
First, remember you are not alone in your struggles. Every relationship on the planet can benefit from couples’ counseling. No relationship survives and thrives without the help and support of others, either. Anything other than that is simply a myth.
Let’s break down a misconception:
Couples’ counseling isn’t only for when things have “hit the fan” in your relationship.
Couples counseling is also a great way to make a good relationship better than it’s ever been before. Through therapy, you can practice preventative maintenance and make your relationship increasingly happy.
That said, here are some other compelling reasons to seek counseling as a couple if you’re struggling:
- You keep fighting and don’t know how to stop
- Verbal and/or physical abuse is taking place
- There has been an emotional or physical affair
- You feel like your in-laws are hurting your marriage
- Communication has broken down
- Mental illness is interfering with your relationship
- Money issues are causing the health of your relationship to decline
- Changing definitions of the relationship are on the horizon
- Your blended family attempts feel more like trying to mix oil and water
- Any other issues you can’t resolve on your own
Our Couples Therapists Can Help to Bring Hope and Healing to Your Relationship
Our Comforts of Home Counseling Therapists have extensive experience and training when it comes to relationships. We’ve helped many couples improve their relationships. Quite a few who came to see us had completely lost hope that their relationship could heal.
We can help you unpack your past to understand where your tensions stem from. We also find that couples experience significant relief from a third-party mediator such as a counselor.
There are a variety of methods we can employ to assist you in getting back on track relationally. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very effective in helping you identify negative thoughts that plague your relationship, for instance. This process also allows you to replace negative streams of thinking. This is done by discovering how those streams of thinking affect your moods, beliefs and, ultimately, your relationships.
Our therapists help you talk through your difficulties in a safe setting where both of you can be heard. That way, you actually work together on what’s bothering you instead of fighting.
But, perhaps, you’re still not sure about couples counseling…
“I’m not sure if my spouse or partner would even go to couples’ counseling.”
This is a common problem. You’re not the only one in this boat.
Here’s the thing:
Couples’ counseling isn’t about you changing your partner anyway. Remember, you can only change yourself. For that reason, your partner doesn’t have to be present for you to experience significant life improvement.
Is it ideal that both couples are present for therapy? Yes.
But is it essential? Definitely not.
Sometimes, the partner of the one going to counseling notices a positive difference in them. This can sway the unwilling partner or win them over to eventually going to counseling, too.
Coercing or threatening your partner to go to therapy rarely works out how you’d like. So, if your partner won’t go to therapy, remember that that’s out of your control. You getting the help you need totally is in your control, however!
“What if going to couples’ counseling actually makes things worse?
This is a common but unfounded concern. It stems from fear of the unknown.
You wonder if hashing everything out and digging up old bones will prove to be too much and, poof, your relationship will drop even further into the abyss.
Our tendency as humans is to isolate from others when things go badly in our relationships. We don’t want anyone to see our dirty laundry or to judge us. We’re already hurting and want to protect ourselves.
True, going to family or friends could throw a wrench into your relationship—especially if they pick sides. Our professionals, on the other hand, are specifically trained to help your relationship heal—to be unbiassed mediators. We understand how to steer you in the right direction.
Are you struggling in your relationship or are you tired of the status quo? Why not schedule an appointment with one of our Comforts of Home Counseling therapists? Now is a great time for change!